


An Acute Kind of Agony

by TaliskerMortem



Series: Santini & Sava [2]
Category: SKAM (Italy), Skam - Fandom
Genre: Elia Santini Is Bi, Filippo Is So Dramatic, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 03:56:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16632458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaliskerMortem/pseuds/TaliskerMortem
Summary: “Hey,” he greeted. “Sorry I’m late.”“No worries,” Elia smiled, shifting into a more upright position. “How’s it going?”“Alright,” he said because blurting out that he hadn’t been able to get Elia out of his head all week didn’t seem like a good alternative. “You?”“Good,” Elia muttered, staring resolutely at his shoes. “I’ve been thinking about you.”





	An Acute Kind of Agony

**Author's Note:**

> These boys have bewitched me.

Filippo was an idiot.

How many times had he told himself to stay away from straight guys? To steer clear of vaguely curious guys? To not be someone’s fucking _experiment_? Too many. He had been through too much heartbreak by going down those roads. He had given little pieces of his heart to so many inquisitive sets of eyes only to be forgotten in the aftermath and left to pick up the pieces. It was like he couldn’t refuse. The earnest way those boys would look at him, _knowing_ just by looking that he was gay, the way they assumed that meant he would be up for a bit of a fumble, nothing serious. Filippo was always encouraging people to broaden their horizons, to be comfortable with who they were, to not box themselves in. So how could he possibly refuse when they tried to do just that? What did it matter if he woke up feeling terribly lonely every single time?

The morning after he had kissed Elia was no different.

It had been messy and hot and wonderful and Filippo had been completely blindsided when Elia had pulled him back and returned the favour.

It had also been a mistake.

Elia was Martino’s _friend_. He wasn’t just some random guy Filippo had bumped into in a bar, he was someone that was close to someone Filippo cared about. He would be impossible to avoid. Filippo wasn’t ready for the cool dismissal he knew he would receive the next time they met, for the way Elia’s eyes would brush over him without making eye contact, or even worse if had acted like nothing at all had ever happened between them. It was always the same.

The only blessing was that Filippo had not taken him home that night. They had fumbled about on that rooftop balcony with all of Rome sprawled out beneath them but Filippo had not taken him home. He doesn’t remember how long they spent out there, curled up and spent, laughing at the stars. Only that someone had come out looking for Elia and Elia had stood up and left with nothing but an awkward salute in Filippo’s direction. So no, Filippo had not taken him home. There was no lingering smell of another person on Filippo’s bed sheets, there was no awkward goodbye, he didn’t have to lie there pretending to be asleep whilst Elia quietly collected his things and snuck out without a word. At least he had been spared that.

He had spent Sunday in a funk.

Monday he had pulled himself together.

Tuesday he was fine again.

Wednesday the funk returned.

Thursday he got a text from Elia.

**Elia** : _Hey_

Filippo stared at it for a while, unsure _why_ exactly Elia would be messaging him. Until it clicked. He probably just wanted to make sure he didn’t tell anyone about what had happen. Filippo put the phone down. Then picked it back up.

**Filippo** : _Hi_

It had been a while since Filippo had believed he had any sense of self-control or self-preservation.

**Elia** : _What are you up to?_

**Elia** : _Do you want to hang out?_

Huh. That was different. Somehow out of all the possibilities the one that had presented itself had never even crossed Filippo’s mind.

**Filippo** : _I’m at work_

**Elia** : _Later?_

Persistent. Pause.

**Elia** : _Or if you don’t that’s cool too, just thought I’d ask_

Oh. Filippo stared at the message. Because that sounded a lot like insecurity and Elia Santini did not strike Filippo as an insecure person.

**Filippo** : _I finish work at 5, meet you in the park near Marti’s place?_

**Elia** : _Cool, see you then!_

Needless to say, Filippo didn’t pay much attention for the rest of his shift.

By the time he made it to the park, he was already fifteen minutes late and half certain Elia would have left by now. So when he spotted the figure lounging back on the bench a few meters away he was taken somewhat by surprise.

“Hey,” he greeted. “Sorry I’m late.”

“No worries,” Elia smiled, shifting into a more upright position. “How’s it going?”

“Alright,” he said because blurting out that he hadn’t been able to get Elia out of his head all week didn’t seem like a good alternative. “You?”

“Good,” Elia muttered, staring resolutely at his shoes. “I’ve been thinking about you.”

And _oh_ , maybe it would have been an acceptable response, thought Filippo before his heart rate caught up with what Elia had said and begun to panic.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” he asked as he took a seat beside him.

“Depends… have you thought about it at all?” Elia asked, shooting a fleeting glance at Filippo.

_Non stop_ , Filippo wanted to say.

“Once or twice,” he said instead, a smirk forcing its way onto his face. Elia said nothing, just continued to stare at his shoes, and that, quite frankly, wasn’t good enough. So Filippo bumped his own foot against Elia’s forcing the boy to pay attention to him too. Elia ducked his head but Filippo could still see the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. And what a delicious mouth it was. “I’m starting to freeze my balls off and I desperately need to take a piss, do you want to come back to my place?” he suggested, berating himself even as the words poured out of his mouth. What was he _doing_?

“You were the one that suggested we meet in the park!” Elia protested. “But yes please, I’m fucking freezing,” he shivered to prove his point and for a brief moment Filippo felt bad but then he met Elia’s eye and saw the humour hiding there.

“Pathetic,” he teased, elbowing the other boy in the side before standing up. Elia followed with a grin, awkwardness momentarily forgotten.

They chatted casually about their day as they walked back to Filippo’s place. It was comfortable, strangely. Filippo was so entranced as Elia relayed a story about some incident involving a toothbrush and the principle that at one point he almost walked into lamppost because he was too busy watching the expressions on the other boy’s face to bother looking where he was going. Which really should have been a warning sign.

The apartment was empty when they got there, as it had been since Eleonora had gone to Manchester. It was also much tidier than normal, also because Eleonora had gone to Manchester. Filippo kicked off his shoes and showed Elia into the kitchen. The tension that had subsided on their walk from the park returned tenfold as he busied himself making them some drinks.

“I thought you had to take a piss?” Elia snorted as he watched Filippo pick through the things in the fridge.

“I really, really do,” he laughed. “Just give me a minute and help yourself to whatever,” he gestured to the still open fridge as he practically danced out of the kitchen to the loo.

When he returned, Elia was perched up on the counter, glass of orange juice in one hand and his phone in the other. He was distracted again and that just wouldn’t do. So Filippo slipped closer to him, even though his brain was screaming at him that this was a _bad idea_. He slipped closer, leaning against the counter close enough to feel the heat emanating from the other boy.

Elia put his phone down.

“So when you said you’d been thinking about it, what exactly did you mean?” he asked, looking up at Elia through his lashes because he simply couldn’t help himself. The younger boy stuttered and blushed. “Were you just thinking about it in the general sense? About how the mechanics of a kiss were just the same, even with a boy? Or were you thinking about the other stuff?” he hedged, tapping Elia’s knee gently. Elia bit his lip. “Were you thinking of what it was like, being with a guy?" He paused. "Or were you thinking about _me_ , in particular?”

“You,” Elia breathed. “Definitely you.”

Filippo fought down a ridiculous smile.

This would never end well.

“What, exactly, about me?”

“The way you kiss – you’re fucking incredible, you know that right?” Elia’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the counter. Filippo ran his fingertips up the inner seem of his faded black jeans and smirked when the other boy’s breath caught. “Fili-” he choked before his hand came up to grab Filippo’s neck and pull him in. The kiss wasn’t soft, or hesitant like those first kisses they had shared on the rooftop. It was demanding, ensuring every cell in their bodies paid attention.

Filippo moved into the space between Elia’s thighs, hands fisting the material of his jumper as he pulled him in closer. Elia needed no encouragement to wrap his legs around Filippo’s waist, or to dig his fingers into the faded pink curls. He bit down on Filippo’s lip, tongue flicking out across the piercing there before sucking it into his mouth. It was a dirty kiss, filled with promises of _more_.

“Thought about your cock,” Elia gasped as Filippo moved his hands down to grab at his ass. Any hint of shyness had evaporated with the heat of the kiss. “How it tasted in my mouth.” Filippo groaned and ran one hand up Elia’s thigh. “Thought about your lips, and your eyes looking up at me as you took me in your mouth. Thought about your hands, all over me… _Fuck_ ,” he cursed as Filippo shoved one hand under the waistband of his jeans to cup his bare ass. “Definitely thought about this,” he confessed.

“You like me touching your ass?” Filippo smirked and the younger boy just nodded, eyes closed and head tilted back a little to give Filippo access to his neck.

“Remember when you made me come?”

“Mmhmm?” Filippo responded, mouth too occupied with sucking a hickey onto Elia’s collarbone to bother with words. Elia gripped his hair harder. His free hand snuck under the layers of Elia’s clothing to run along the taunt muscles of his abdomen whilst the other continued to knead the perfect globes of his ass.

“Oh fuck, bed, please can we move this to a bed,” Elia finally demanded, pulling away and half-pushing, half-pulling Filippo as he made to get off the counter. Filippo chuckled and stepped back to give him some room. And to breathe. Because apparently oxygen didn’t seem that important when he could have Elia instead.

“Yes, bed,” was all he managed to utter, grabbing the younger boy by the waist and guiding him from the kitchen and down the corridor to his room. They tripped over one another in their hast to get to the bed, both trying to struggle out of their clothing at the same time. Elia fell forward with his head and arms stuck in his jumper, landing awkwardly in the middle of the mattress and bringing Filippo down with him. “You’re a disaster,” Filippo laughed, forgetting his own shirt for a moment to help Elia out of his.

It was different this time. They weren’t clouded by the faint haze of alcohol, or the dark starlit sky above them. There was no one on the other side of the door that could come in at any minute to interrupt them. They were alone, sober and the heady rush they were experiencing was from endorphins alone. They had the time to strip out of their clothes and to take in each other’s bodies. To map out kisses on each other’s skin.

Elia lay spread out and unashamedly naked in the middle of Filippo’s bed, smiling up at him and Filippo wasn’t sure he could handle it. The boy was beautiful, the hard lines of his jaw and hip bones, the definition of his abs contrasted with the soft curve of his lip, with the round mounds of his ass, with the dark curls falling in front of dark eyes. He was exquisite. And Filippo was lost. How had this gorgeous creature ended up here? Smiling up at him? What had he done to deserve this?

“Are you going to kiss me, or do you want to stare a little longer?” Elia smirked, breaking Filippo from his thoughts. And what other way was there to answer that, other than to press forward and claim Elia’s mouth with his own.

This was softer than the kiss they had shared in the kitchen, but no less promising. Filippo stopped holding himself up and rested his weight along Elia’s body. The kiss was steady, his hands cupping Elia’s face as he took what he wanted, what Elia so willingly gave. They were both hard by now but neither rushed. It would come. They just took the time to explore each other’s mouths first. It was nothing like what Filippo was used to. He was so accustomed to _quick_ and _hard_ … it was _hot_ and _fast_ and over before either of them could memorise how the other tasted beneath their tongue. Not like Elia. Filippo would have the taste of Elia’s skin etched into his memory for the rest of his life.

“What do you want?” he asked, forcing himself not to go any further down that line of thought.

“You,” was Elia’s brutally honest reply before a blush caught up with him and he stuttered: “your hands,” and repeated: “remember when you made me come?”

“I remember,” Filippo smiled, hands finally moving from Elia’s face to trace down his body and underneath him to cup his ass. “I had my hands on your ass, like this,” he squeezed. “And your cock in my mouth,” he added as he started pressing a line of kisses down Elia’s chest.

“Your fingers,” Elia choked out, head tilted back so Filippo couldn’t see his face. Filippo paused. What had he been doing with his fingers? “They were- you pressed your finger to my- _fuck,_ ” he cursed. Filippo’s hand had stilled its kneading, instead his fingers moved slowly to press between Elia’s cheeks.

“Like this?” he asked, pressing one firm finger to the other boy’s hole. Elia let out a strangled _yes_ as he groaned and bucked his hips off the bed. “You want me to finger you?”

“Want you to fuck me,” Elia corrected. Filippo retracted his hand.

“Elia…” he frowned. “That’s not- you can’t just… you need to work up to it?”

“Like I said, I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” Elia replied, still tilting his head back and avoiding Filippo’s gaze. “And I’m not some kind of saint, alright? There was plenty of touching to go along with the thinking.”

It took Filippo far too long to piece together what Elia was saying.

“You fingered yourself,” he eventually concluded.

Elia nodded, biting his lip and finally lowering his head to look at Filippo.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Filippo choked out, reaching down to grab his dick as the mental images caught up with him. “ _Fuck_ ,” he repeated. “You fucking _fingered_ yourself thinking about me?”

“Uh… yeah?” Elia blushed.

“Oh my god, you are definitely trying to kill me.”

Elia used the moment of distraction to roll them over so he was pressing Filippo to the mattress instead. He rolled his hips tantalizingly, biting at Filippo’s jaw.

“I’ve been masturbating far more than is probably healthy these last few days, thinking about you, about your fingers in me, about your cock in me,” Elia confessed, punctuating his words with a delicious grind of his hips. “I’ve had my fingers buried in my ass for hours, imagining it was you,” he continued and Filippo was really going to die. “So _please_. Please will you fuck me?” he practically begged, breath suddenly coming in shorter bursts as he continued to roll against Filippo beneath him.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Filippo practically whimpered. “Yes. _Yes_. Holy fuck _yes_.”

And then Filippo was rolling them over again, trapping Elia’s body beneath him and biting down hard on his lip. Elia bucked against him and moaned, sending shivers down both their bodies. It didn’t take long to locate lube and a condom and before he could think twice, Filippo’s fingers were slipping into Elia’s warmth.

And Elia opened up for him with a happy sigh.

Filippo was definitely going to die.

One finger became two, one moan became a dozen. Elia watched Filippo with hooded eyes as he stretched him open, choked off breaths stuttering out of him as he urged his body to relax. This was going way too fast but Filippo couldn’t stop himself. And Elia looked like he might punch him if he tried.

“Okay,” Filippo relented, after spending far longer than he ever had before opening anyone up. “Okay,” he repeated, tugging a pillow down and pushing it under Elia’s hips. “Okay,” he sighed as he rolled a condom on and fell back down between Elia’s spread thighs.

“Please,” Elia smiled, sweat already beading at his hairline as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Please Fili,” he continued to smile as he reached out to grab Filippo’s hair instead. And how could he possibly refuse?

Neither of them were going to last long and Filippo had to grab the base of his dick to stop himself from coming as he sunk into Elia’s willing body.

“ _Fili_ ,” Elia groaned when their hips were _finally_ flush together.

“Hey, hey,” Filippo murmured. “Are you alright?’ he asked, stroking the hair back from Elia’s face, not daring to move until he had been given permission to do so. Elia flickered open his dark eyes, his lashes casting shadows across his prominent cheekbones. _God_ he was beautiful. They just watched each other for a moment, each catching their breath as they let their bodies adjust.

“Kiss me,” Elia demanded at last. And Filippo did, because he had long since given up trying to deny this boy anything. It was soft and gentle, at odds with situation but somehow entirely _right_ anyway. “You’re fucking incredible,” Elia smiled when he pulled away.

“No Santini, that would be you,” Filippo smirked. Elia rolled his eyes and jerked his hips. The movement was divine and sent Filippo’s vision white. It was all the sign he needed.

Filippo had never fucked anyone like this before. Not even his exes. It was slow and sensual and raw and Elia had not asked for this but somehow Filippo knew this was exactly what he wanted. The younger boy had his head tipped back again, lips parted in bliss as one hand reached behind him to grab on to the metal rails at the head of the bed. His other hand was clutching at Filippo’s shoulder, just holding on. His legs were wrapped around Filippo’s waist, trapping him against his body as if there was anything in the world that would make Filippo want to escape.

Filippo had propped himself up on one elbow whilst the other hand ran languidly over every inch of Elia’s body it could reach. They made sense. Every movement of their bodies was entwined, in sync. Filippo traced the line of Elia’s jaw with his mouth, pressed kisses to his neck and sucked on his lip. Elia moaned and whimpered with each one, legs tightening around him and urging him on. But Filippo would not be hurried and Elia didn’t really want him to.

It was agony. Of the most acute kind.

And they gave themselves in to it.

The hot slide of bodies, the soft caress of tongues. Elia cried out and threw his head back when Filippo found _that spot_. Droplets of sweat rolled down their faces and mingled together as they clung to one another. Elia’s fingers left bruises on Filippo’s back and Filippo’s returned the favour on his thighs.

“Elia,” Filippo moaned into his skin. “I can’t- I _can’t_ -”

“Touch me,” Elia demanded, voice raw and broken. “ _Please_ ,” he begged.

So Filippo did, slipping a hand between their bodies and wrapping his fingers around Elia’s cock. With just a few more thrusts, Elia was coming and there was nothing left to hold Filippo back as his vision went first a blinding white before fading into black.

When Filippo came too a few moments later, Elia was still wrapped around him, fingers carding peacefully through his hair and Filippo knew that he had lost another little piece of his heart that he would never get back.


End file.
